Why does society no longer believe that our higher powers can speak directly to us? It is now thought that we ( as only lowly humans) need a middleman. A "pure" soul that can direct our thoughts,and fears and "sins" to God for forgiveness. Is not a priest/minister a human, as I am? Are they not just as capable of making a mistake as I am? Why is it that when we talk to God, it is called "prayer". But if God talks to us, it is called" schizophrenia"? Sociatal norms say that some one who claims that God is talking to him is crazy.(Unless, you are a tele evangelist). I prefer to think that my God, my higher power, is inside me, and all around me. Divinty is in all i see. The trees, the lake near my house, even the turkey buzzards that fly over my home, all this is divine. Why can't everyone see this? why are we deaf to what is being said to us? I, in my career, now have to take care of a young man who believes the Lord speaks through him. My upbringing kicked in and my first instinct was to disbelieve all this boy said. But a small voice in my head said "why not"? Who am I to decide that God doesn't speak to individuals? The american indian religions believe in Spirit helpers. Spirits that help them. How can some entity help you unless it can "speak" to you? I believe that everyone, no matter their creed or beliefs, should acccept all others. What a silly pipe dream that is. History shows that acceptance of differences, is not a high priority. i pray that through sites like this one, people wil start to see that "different" is not neccesarily "bad/wrong"

I went to see a psychiatrist this week. I had been researching adult add for some time now. All of my symptoms fall right into that catagory. It was actually a very enlightening sesson. I knew that as a child I was "hyperactive" In those days ritalin and other drugs weren't in use yet. I spent alot of time getting my butt whipped by my parents for not being able to "control yourself". When I hit puberty, the hyper behavoirs disappeared, but not the compulsive ones. Eating and Alcohol being the biggest ones. I went from md to md, looking for answers. I was always told it's "Clinical Depression"  I have taken damn near every depression drug on the market. None worked, mostly cause I never gave them enough time to work. Impatience is a classic ADD symptom. Any way this new doctor told me that my ADD had probably been the cause of my frustrations with life and was what was the underlying cause of the depression symptoms. She told me that if I can get a handle on the ADD through proper meds and counseling, that I would most likely begin to feel better. Being in the medical field, I have faith in medications. I have seen that in alot of cases they work. In my particular situation, I know that meds need to be used in conjunction with my spirit and mind. Drugs can only take me so far. Alot of soul searching will also be necessary. I don't believe that I need to pay another person to achieve that. I think I need to open my eyes and my heart to the world around me. Really look at what  the Gods and Goddesses have created. And find out where in that place I belong. Wish me luck.

I have been trying to get my space all set up, to look nice and pretty. Haven't figured out how to change the colors on the different modules to match the background I chose. Sooner or later I will figure it out. Appearences are important to me. Which only goes to show that I have a long way to go on my personal spiritual journey. I was obese for over 25 years. I had gastric bypass surgery 2 1/2 years ago. I have been surprised at the attention I get from the opposite sex now. Makes me mad, too. Why wasn't I worth hitting on when I was real fat? Am I now worth more since I have become more "visually appealling"? Unfortunatly, I, like many other people, put my self worth in the hands of others.  I hope to learn, through the Wiccan path, how to value myself. To not care what others think. To know, in my soul, that I am worthy to be part of this world. To KNOW that I am a goddess in my own right. Thanks to all who read this. You will, by reading this blog, help me in some small way on my way to better spiritual understanding of myself. Bessed Be. 

I am new to this network. Only discovered it by accident when I was reading the back of this year's Llewellyn's Withches' calendar. There was an article by Kristin Madden titled Reclaiming Our Power. It struck a chord in me, because I feel so powerless in my world right now. I want so much to be strong, and focused on what is good for me, and those I love. The article helped me to understand a few things about myself. Any way, I liked it so much ,I went to the author's website. And discovered the existence of Covenspace. I am not always able to get to Ritual, or to Pagan gatherings, due to work and familial obligations. I am hoping that having access to this network will allow me to learn more about the path I feel compelled to follow. I have read some about Wicca, but not nearly enough. I took a few classes, but, again, not enough. I thought that by networking with people who have more knowledge, I could learn what I need to know. Bless all who read this. And thank you for being here.